What I Hope for My Boys, as Brothers
My boys are 18 months apart. I always wanted more than one child, but I never expected to have one--pretty much--after the other. I feared adding a sibling so soon would take a challenging toll on my first born…I also feared not knowing if my heart had the capacity to love another child the way I loved my first. But as soon as my second son was born, I knew I had given Nicholas the greatest gift in the world: a brother. I also realized my heart has a way of expanding.
I want my sons to be best friends. All parents want that for their children. But more so, I've come up with a list of specifics I sincerely hope for my boys, as brothers.
1. May they always have a secret language.
At two years old, Nicholas simply looks at Zachary (8 months), and they both start cracking up in laughter. It's as if they have a secret language. Sometimes their eyes will lock and they'll jabber back and forth; I really truly feel they're communicating in a way only they understand. May they always have that secret brotherly bond that can only be formed by blood.
2. May they always support and celebrate one another.
I hope envy never enters their bodies. I want them to genuinely give one another praise when deserved. I want them to be one another's #1 fans (next to me, of course). May they always want the best for one another.
3. May they always challenge one another.
In a positive way, of course. I don't want them to always agree on things--they are entitled to becoming their individual selves. However, I want them to engage one another; talk to one another about important things. In the case of a disagreement, I want them to fight nice. May they always respect one another's thoughts, feelings, and opinions.
4. May they help one another be better people.
I want my boys to offer one another guidance. I want them to bring one another up--when one is slipping, I hope the other will catch their fall. May they always encourage each other to do better.
5. May they be bad together.
I'm not referring to being dangerous, illegal, etc…rather, that rambunctious fun-type of bad. I want them to get dirty, party hard, and rebel…together. Even if they get in a little bit of trouble, may they always be one another's partners in crime.
6. May they keep in touch.
Life gets busy. As much as I'm dreading it, time doesn't stop, and the day will come when my boys are grown and leading their own lives. When they become men, I really hope they stay in contact with one another--have weekly chats, or at least, texts. And when they do form families of their own, I want them to cherish the importance of staying connected, getting together on holidays, and remembering that family comes first. May they always maintain their relationship.
7. May they be one another's best man forever.
Because I always want them to stand by one another's side…not just at the alter, but in life. May they always protect each other.
8. May they always trust one another.
I hope they can tell one another anything. I hope they share secrets I don't know. (Kind of.) I hope they confide in one another and trust that the other won't tell a single solitary soul. I want them to be each other's confidant. May they always be comfortable to express themselves to one another.
9. May they go to one another in times of need.
Without overstepping any boundaries, I want my boys to turn to each other if they need something: advice, money, a couch to sleep on, anything...I want them to find comfort in knowing they're never alone because they'll always have one another. May my boys never turn one another down.
10. May they always like one another.
There's a big difference between loving someone and liking someone. I know my boys will always love one another--love is somewhat of an obligatory term when it comes to family. However, to like someone is much different. I want them to genuinely find friendship in one another. I want them to truly enjoy one another's company. I want them to want to hang out together. I want them to sincerely care for one another's well-being. They will always be brothers, but, God willing, may they always be the best of friends.